sat nav's got us lost - again! We're only on day two of
this road trip and the bloody thing can't even find a German town the size
of Huddersfield. It's a useless piece of dog dung and no mistake,
but it came as part and parcel of the car we chose for this years little
adventure which is a Spirit Blue Fiesta ST180 - Great car, cracking colour - shame about the sat nav.
to the previous morning... We've been holed up for the
night in an
allegedly haunted 16th century inn which is in a small rural village
hidden deep in the
countryside of South East England, its location makes it ideal for heading to the Eurotunnel early
in the morning... or so we think.
The place has a 500 year old subsidence problem which makes getting up in the night and trundling
across a rickety old sloping floor to go for a piddle quite an
experience. Even though we're stone cold sober we feel completely "trollied" as we
bounce off the walls & various bits of furniture en route to
the lav. Coming back it's uphill!
Sat navs and
hotels - we can't half pick 'em!
Up bright & early and,
is typed optimistically into the sat nav's destination bar..... "Never heard of it mate, try again" So we
do, several times. We try, "Channel Tunnel" .... "Chunnel"
.... "Shuttle" ..... "Le Shuttle ..... "Big
train thingy that goes
under a vast stretch of water and ends up in
France" .... Still nothing! OK, Let's try
"Ah! I know where that is" it says, "Follow me".
So we do.......
crossroads on a narrow country lane, the choices are: left, right or straight on.
Straight on happens to be down
a grotty, pothole infested, knee deep in mud & dung farm track
and guess which way idiot
nav wants us to go? I'll give you a clue, it's not
left and it's not right. We go left, then the bloody thing keeps
telling us to turn around. That's when we notice that according to
daft nav, Folkestone is now 16 miles away! We know for sure that it was only
8 miles from the hotel when we started out because it said so when we left there, but here
we are inexplicably twice as far away now than we were when we
started out. Maybe it's taken up a new hobby of dishing out fake
news, or maybe it's just a spiteful bastard..
Now it wants us to turn right up
another country lane, so we do. It's a very narrow one but at least it
feels like we're going in the right direction. A
mile and half further on and we eventually approach a T junction at a
main road.... Success!! Well, it would be if some lardy farm vehicle,
a mob of drunken sumo sized morris dancers, hadn't been up there before us and uprooted
a soddin' great tree - which is now completely blocking the
road in front of us. So, we're not actually AT the T junction yet but
we are tantalisingly
close to it, a mere 100 yds in fact and faced with two options. Do we reverse for a
mile and half, because there's nowhere we can possibly turn
around - and who knows where mad nav would take us to if we did
or, do we
try and move
the miniature Sherwood Forest
that's appeared in front of us?
two it is then - "Off you go Miss, I'm driving!" So
she does. I've got to say she does like a bit of gardening,
and she's a sturdy lass of good
Midlands stock so she soon
has it pulled back far enough for me to squeeze the car through -
well almost. It's certainly not up there with my greatest moments
of fulfilment hearing the thing
trying its best to scrape
the paint off the car as I inched slowly past.
finally make it to the main road at last, and there's a
sign pointing to "Eurotunnel" We're saved!
to hurry though because we're now running late.
"Turn off that useless F****** sat nav" somebody
I think it was me, it sounded like me.. So we do, and I swear I could hear it cackling away to itself as it went off .....
"Mischief is my name, Mischief is my game" "
Followed by an evil laugh. Maybe the
hotel really was haunted after all.
some minor miracle we've now made it to Germany and we're trying to find our way to the
town of Fussen, it started off well enough as we left Le Bonhomme in
France but it all goes tits up about
half way when the evil spawn of satan nav dumps us in the
middle of nowhere and goes into a sulk. It's obvious that it
hasn't got a clue where we are, but more worryingly neither have
We park up at the side of a cemetery in a small town,
where a quick discussion concludes it might be best to get the
map book out to see if we can find some places we can use as way
here and Fussen that we can head for. So we do, and we put a few
of them into dickhead nav, then stupidly begin to follow its instructions
........"Turn right in 200 metres" it says. So we do. Then a
few hundred yds further on ..... "Do a U turn when
I must admit that at this
point I lost it a bit. - tearing my hair out and throwing a
complete and utter foul mouthed wobbly that could be heard all the way back in Manchester would be a very good,
if understated, description of
events that followed. You could say that I'd earned the right to
be quite vexed, so being quite vexed I am........
And, that's when the speed camera flashes us!
By pure luck we arrive at Fussen
in Bavaria - complete with impending speeding fine - where we plan to go do the touristy
thing for a couple of days.
This is Neuschwanstein.
They say this was the inspiration for the Disney Castle......We're seeing that! We took 100s of photos of it but we'll not
bore you with them all - just a few because we trotted up some very big hills to get
All that effort to get this view
and there's scaffolding up the outside!
You see some interesting things
up mountains ...like folk jumping off them!
Someone having trouble with wind.
Another Bavarian Castle, can't
remember what this one's called but it begins with an 'S'
The little church of St Coloman
............. we got a bit a shock when we went
Walking the Highline 179 on the way to Italy.
It was a long steep climb up to this but well worth the
It was hot and very humid on the way up, the car's ambient temp gauge was
showing 27 deg when we parked and it was only 8.30 am.
By the time we got back down it was well into the 30s
On the Timmelsjoch Pass
The Timmelsjoch Cafe, there's a
definite petrolhead theme going on here
Seemed rude not to park next to
One of the less crowded Alpine